Manab aged 30, was ousted from his friend’s house after an incident when he took control of the tv remote and changed the audio language of the Bollywood movie that everyone was watching, to English. This incident sent shockwaves among all the millennials in India who prefer to watch Bollywood movies with English audio. “We wouldn’t have done that to him, had he not choose the English subtitle option. We were all okay with the audio but he crossed the line when he added the English subtitle too. Bada aaya angrez, saala Shikhar khata tha 3 mahine pehle. Jab se amrika se return hua hai, toilet paper bina tatti bhi nahi jata. Nikalenge nahi to kya karenge batao“, the house owner Pankaj said. Manab and Pankaj have been friends since their high school days. They went to tuitions together, smoked their first cigarette behind the samosa wala’s shop. A long friendship devastated.
“I don’t think its a crime to watch Bollywood movies with English subtitle. It only makes my vocabulary strong. Have we not watched Slum Dog Millionaire with English subtitle? That movie won 8 Oscars. They shouldn’t have made me leave that day. I am obviously more hurt by the fact that it was Pankaj who made me leave. He was a very close friend of mine, we used to ride bicycle together to tuition every evening“, Manab said with watery eyes. His friends started hating him more when they found out that Manab was actually not crying out of guilt but because he was having conjunctivitis.
Local news agencies did not loose any time to find out which movie was it that brought this ominous faith to Manab. The other guy Tarun, who was also present that day with Manab and Pankaj, tried hiding from the media. But once he stepped out of his house he was trapped under the cameras and the obvious question, “sir! sir! sir! which movie was it? Kaun si film thi?” Nervous Tarun with a shrinking voice said, “Vivah”. And that was another shockwave that broke through all news channel studios. With headlines like, “Justice for Vivah” and “Local Boy Trying To Turn Vivah into Marriage“, the studios went crazy. Arnab passed out hearing this information on his earpiece over a live broadcast. Many guests for the first time got the opportunity to speak at the show that day.
When our reporters reached out to Manab for the second time after almost a week to get an updated statement from him, Manab said, “No I am not sorry. I will keep on watching Bollywood movies with English audio and subtitle. I may change my mind if only you stop watching Hollywood movies with Hindi audio.“
Youth division of few nationalist parties are in hunt for Manab since that day. There’s a bounty of INR 20,000 over his head. Our sources say, Manab is behind a computer these days spreading lies and hatred on the internet.